The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
