Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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