Don't you send me to vm
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
