I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
