Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
