That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
