I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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