just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
