the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
