Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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