I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
