did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
