His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
