New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
