Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
