My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
