How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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