So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
