My friends, they love my intelligence
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
