Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
