His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
