The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
