I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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