just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
