So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize