Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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