thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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