She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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