They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
