he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
