i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
