dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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