Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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