to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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