so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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