Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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