it wasn't lemon gatorade
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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