Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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