you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
