just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
