The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize