I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
