why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
