she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I believe in your delicious
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
