I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
