All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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