Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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