Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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