Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
