whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
