I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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