I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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