S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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