The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
