You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
