I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
