I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
