Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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