coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
