i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
