dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm having to shit out rocks
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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